My Defining Moment: How My Couples Made Me What I Am Today
 Many people have asked me over the years how I left practicing law and became a joyful, Celebrant and interfaith minister. Believe it or not, probably like you, I knew more about what I didn’t want from a clergyperson than I knew about how a clergy person could enrich my life. And then something happened:
A defining moment in my life took place in 1998 when I stood up during a hateful sermon and started to question the minister. It was a difficult time for me. I was a very idealistic, lawyer with low self-esteem. For the second time in a row, I had resigned from a high profile, legal advocacy organization. Extremely depressed and lost, I started attending church. It seemed like a safe, friendly place. As the weeks unfolded, I become stronger and more centered.
To answer this question, it's probably best that I share with you a defining moment and resulting "compelling story" that brought me to where I am today, creating and performing, custom tailored, meaningful, memorable wedding ceremonies.
Over the years many people have asked me why I left practicing law and became a joyful, professional Celebrant and interfaith minister.
So, on the Sunday that the preacher started in on
Romans 1:26-27 and I would not passively listen to a sermon that cast lesbians and gay men out of the church. I was shocked. I kept thinking, “courage! Courage!” I had come to realize that if, during those two bad job experiences, I had had the courage to speak my conviction things might not have ended up in such a sad situation for everyone involved.
In that spirit, I stood up and said, “But what did Jesus say? We call ourselves, ‘Christians.’ What did Jesus say? It was going on all around him. Homosexuality is nothing new.” The minister tried to continue his sermon but I asked again, “I want to know what Jesus said about homosexuality?” Because Jesus never addressed the issue, the pastor had no answer for me and soon his sermon was over. I went to dinner after that sermon and continued to go to church sporadically and most other church members continued to accept and respect me. But it was never the same.
However, I made a commitment to myself to find a way to return to the peace I had found in church in the spring of 1998. I began to study many different paths. I read every book on faith and spirituality that I could get my hands on. I took courses at the Open Center and talked to experts. I essentially decided to become my own mini-expert on peace and spirituality.
And it worked in a way I could have never imagined. Two years after that shocking Sunday, I started a new position, as a contract attorney. Here I learned about the Celebrant USA Foundation. They were introducing a new way to affirm people from every belief system. Instantly, I knew that this was the right path for me. I would have the opportunity to share the peace I had found with people in a non-judgmental, warm and engaging way.
As a Celebrant I have the opportunity to give what I had been denied. My mission is to honor and respect all beliefs and traditions – secular, spiritual, interfaith and religious. Everyone can feel safe with me.
Also, by being with my couples on their wedding days, I came to understand that a wedding is an extraordinary event in our lives. It is one of the few occasions where we have the chance to stand in the power of ceremony and notice that each of our lives has meaning.
To emphasize these singular ceremonial moments, I learned not to just read words from a page. Instead, I become familiar with each custom tailored script and convey sincerity and enthusiasm in my performance of each wedding ceremony. One guest said that I had raised the enjoyment of the ceremony experience to performance art. I found that as I put my heart in the crafting of each wedding ceremony, my life blossomed. I found more joy in the simple fact that I am alive – here on planet earth with all of you -- than I ever imagined.
With this awareness, I decided to dedicate my professional life to helping couples, who think outside of the religion “box,” experience a wedding ceremony that sounds and feels like them, affirms their union and heralds the grand adventure that lays ahead.
Helping people joyfully and meaningfully celebrate their unions became extremely rewarding to me, personally. I was making a difference in people’s lives.
The wedding industry began to hear about my practice and meaningful, heartfelt approach to wedding ceremonies. In 2005, I received the Modern Bride Trendsetter Award, joining luminaries -- fellow awardees like Vera Wang, Carolina Herrera, and Wolfgang Puck to name a few.
And so this is the story of my Celebrant practice. My couples have made me who I am today. Since that shocking Sunday, I’ve established my own spiritual group, worked with more than 300 hundred brides and grooms, spoken in front of groups of hundreds of people and created The Happiness Attraction SystemTM. My life has changed in other ways too. These days I enjoy the company of a beautiful, dynamic man.
Most of all, I cherish ceremonial moments and look forward to infusing my love for life and ceremony into each couple’s wedding day.
Sincerely,
Kim Kirkley
 Kim Kirkley is an ordained Celebrant and non-denominational minister who delights in creating personalized wedding ceremonies. She can be reached via e-mail at Kim@kimkirkley.com
or 718.753.1993. Contact her today for your free introductory consultation.
Your Ceremony, Your Way
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